Made New

Photo by COHolley

My chapters are getting smaller
with no room to begin again.
It is done
   it is written,
       nothing left but loose ends.

When the last page is turned
and the credits begin
cut out the words and scatter them on the wind.
Let them rest in the field
  caressed by the dew
    absorbed by the sun
      and lovingly made new.

COHolley
April 2020

Solitary Celebration

At midnight last night I stepped out onto the sidewalk of my apartment to a huge explosion of fireworks. The burst of color and sparkle cascaded down in the sky as it made a silhouette of the massive oak trees. I pulled my robe tighter around me to keep warm against the cold of the first day of January.  I tried to find excitement that would equal all of the popping, crackling and loud booms of celebration. I looked to my left and about 100 feet away was an elderly man ( elderly because he's older than me). He was also in his robe as he watched the magnificent display. He turned and looked at me and we both returned our attention to the welcoming of the new year. He looked so solitary as he stood there alone watching the beginning of the new year unfold. Suddenly I felt  the cool air ...that carried a singular spirit... blow gently around my shoulders. Each of us in our own thoughts slowly walked back into our apartments. As I closed the door behind me I thought " Happy New year solitary old man, I hope it will treat you well."

Because of Your Destruction

Meet Me Under the Moon

You keep me living in the dark part of the neighborhood.

No sweet smells drifting through the air.

No melodies.

Nothing that matters.

No one who cares.

Drop the reins.

A Morsel at the Time

He fed me sweet morsels, like vanilla cake that melted in my mouth and nourished my  cravings and always left me longing for more.
 I followed his trail of sweetness and let it lure me in.
Each sweet indulgence from him was a precise and planned intent; a conditioning, a priming for his ultimate destination.
In the end I was left without a morsel of dignity.

Standing on the Edge

I was standing on a cliff with my toes hanging over the edge.
He walked up beside me.
We stood there in comfort and ease.

I stopped looking down  and looked up
at the horizon. I saw beautiful colors, birds happily flying
and felt a warm glow from the sun.

He placed his hand on the small of my back and
said " no one will  ever love you like you want to be loved."
Then he pushed me off the cliff with no regret.

He was truthful and merciful.

A Faint Whisper

When you left it was like a whisper that I faintly heard.
I caught the smallest  glimpse of you
as you flew away.

I never tried to seek you out , I never tried to pull you back in.

I started sleeping on your side of the bed. Somehow it seemed the right thing
to do. I filled up the space where you once belonged. I filled it with my being
that is like a whisper that I faintly hear.

I went to the pharmacy yesterday. While I was standing in the drop off line I noticed a man in another line at the other end of the counter. My first thought was...hmm he is just my type. A good age ( younger than me) , baseball cap, moustache, stocky build and a bit of a tummy which I am sure was not from beer but from biscuits and gravy which is totally accceptable. I looked at him much longer than I should have so I tried averting my attention by looking at the Dr Scholl's arch supports and corn pads. When I looked back at him he was staring at me...just thee way I was staring at him...perhaps his mama told him all fat girls can make biscuits and gravy. It wasn't until I was walking away that I noticed he was standing in the "pick up" line. An opportunity missed.