Meet Me Under the Moon

You keep me living in the dark part of the neighborhood.

No sweet smells drifting through the air.

No melodies.

Nothing that matters.

No one who cares.

Drop the reins.

A Morsel at the Time

He fed me sweet morsels, like vanilla cake that melted in my mouth and nourished my  cravings and always left me longing for more.
 I followed his trail of sweetness and let it lure me in.
Each sweet indulgence from him was a precise and planned intent; a conditioning, a priming for his ultimate destination.
In the end I was left without a morsel of dignity.

Standing on the Edge

I was standing on a cliff with my toes hanging over the edge.
He walked up beside me.
We stood there in comfort and ease.

I stopped looking down  and looked up
at the horizon. I saw beautiful colors, birds happily flying
and felt a warm glow from the sun.

He placed his hand on the small of my back and
said " no one will  ever love you like you want to be loved."
Then he pushed me off the cliff with no regret.

He was truthful and merciful.

A Faint Whisper

When you left it was like a whisper that I faintly heard.
I caught the smallest  glimpse of you
as you flew away.

I never tried to seek you out , I never tried to pull you back in.

I started sleeping on your side of the bed. Somehow it seemed the right thing
to do. I filled up the space where you once belonged. I filled it with my being
that is like a whisper that I faintly hear.

I went to the pharmacy yesterday. While I was standing in the drop off line I noticed a man in another line at the other end of the counter. My first thought was...hmm he is just my type. A good age ( younger than me) , baseball cap, moustache, stocky build and a bit of a tummy which I am sure was not from beer but from biscuits and gravy which is totally accceptable. I looked at him much longer than I should have so I tried averting my attention by looking at the Dr Scholl's arch supports and corn pads. When I looked back at him he was staring at me...just thee way I was staring at him...perhaps his mama told him all fat girls can make biscuits and gravy. It wasn't until I was walking away that I noticed he was standing in the "pick up" line. An opportunity missed.

 When he chose love over money I knew he was a poet.

One of my x's will read my post and think they are all about him.
Another x will read it and think none are about him.
Then there is the x that knows which ones are about him. He is the one that paid attention.

 

When the eyes talk....listen.

Let Me Lift You Up.

Let me lift you up
 so you can see every thing so very clear.

Let me lift you up
where the air is as fresh as a spring rain
and you can breath deep and care free..

Let me lift you up
so the sun can shine on your face
for all of your days and the moon will
flow over you like a blanket of peace.

Let me lift you up
to keep you from harm,
and give you a safe place to rest.

Let me lift you up my love.

I hear his voice like he just whispered in my ear. He said my name. His breathing was heavy. I closed my eyes and pulled him close. He vanished from my arms like vapor. A chilling silence took its place.

He found his way into my bed. His impression is still on the sheets. I can see where the pillow caressed his head. His finger prints are on the head board. I gave him all of me to receive his love. He gave me love to receive all of me.

I reached out to him , so close I could almost feel the warmth from his body. He turned and walked away. Leaving my fingertips in sorrow.

The Plunge

Receive and Release

All good things that come to you receive them with love.
All good things that are taken from you release them with compassion.


~ I wrote this post not knowing how soon I would have to apply it. And not knowing that the compassion was for myself not for what was lost. What was lost will just keep traveling on. As for me...I am the little girl left standing in the middle of the road with compassion her only healing source. Even so, it will not come easy. It never does.

I was drowning and you put rocks in my pockets.

She was thrown face down in the dirt.
She collapsed into surrender.
She never turned her face toward the sun again.

The End.